It’s been a while since I blogged about my desire to go to law school, which resurfaced this year after being buried somewhere under layers and layers of my life’s detritus. I have to admit that I’ve reached a place where that desire, while still very much alive, doesn’t feel as urgent as it did when I first started blogging about it.
In the last several months I’ve had lots of time to think about things, and began to see that I really do have a pretty rich life. Whatever might have happened in the past, whatever difficulties I might have had, I feel like I’ve come to where I am for some kind reason or purpose; even if I don’t exactly know what that reason or purpose is, I’m beginnign to see the time it took me to get to where I am as something other than lost time. Someone recently said to me, “35 is not too late to take advantage of opportunities that have passed you before,” and I’m finally beginning to believe it.
It’s always been my tendency to think of myself as something of a “late bloomer,” and maybe I am—I still think of where I might be if certain problems had been solved earlier—but as long as I’m alive, guess it’s not too late. The truth is, I just didn’t get the help I needed until later in life.
The recent turn in my career (career?) suggests to me that anything can still happen, and has me thinking that I want to go a bit further down the path that I’m on, and learn what it has to teach me, before taking another. It doesn’t mean that law school is out. It just means it’s not now. I feel like it (law schoo) will happen. It may be a while yet, but when it does I’ll have even more experience to bring to law school with me.
What brought all of this on? Well, I still read several blawgs (blogs by lawyers, law students, law professors), and in particular the blawgs of Falconred and Chase, both of whom are moving to new cities to begin their first year as law students. I have to admit feeling a tiny bit of envy, reading their entries about new cities, new apartments, new class schedules, etc.
For the time being, I’ll live out my desire to go to law school vicariously, through their blogging. I’ll enjoy reading about their adventures, but right now I’m also enjoying living my own.
I’ve always felt you had a richer life than you gave yourself credit for (and didn’t mind telling you so) Its nice to see you at a place where you can see it as well.
Being comfortable with who you are, and where you are is one of the great joys in life. There’s a peacefulness that comes over you. That you have found that space while others spend their entire lives looking for it, speaks volumes to me.
The secret to life is enjoying the passage of time.
One of the things that Buddhism taught me is to enjoy the moment. I’ve learned to live in each moment and enjoy it fully. It comes with a sense of peace of knowing your “place” in the world and the richness of your life. I read that in your blog and can identify. Me, I’m envious of bloggers since it gives you a glimpse into their lives they are brave enough to share. I’m pleased to have read your blog, learn about you, partner and son and wish you all the best. It’s just awesome to hear the peace in your voice as you write this. You’re a great writer to be able to communicate that; don’t sell yourself short..
I am reassured to hear my angst about law school echoed by someone else. About a year ago I had the overwhelming feeling that I was at a now or never point re law school. I have 3 1/2yr old, am nearly 28 and at the time in a job that I was pretty ambivalent about. So I went through the arduous process of studying for and taking the LSAT and applying to DC area schools. Before I had heard back from any schools I was offered an incredible opportunity to return to an organization that I love and head-up a new program aimed at educating and engaging the American public on foreign policy and security issues.
I accepted the job, which I absolutely love and began to question whether I could really go back to school in the fall and work only part-time and if I really wanted to anymore.
Well, the competition is really stiff–despite my pretty good credentials I was rejected or wait-listed by every DC area school I had applied to. I was devastated. (My alma mater Univ. of Buffalo did accept me—small consolation) Most DC schools have over 10,000 applicants for under 500 spots.
So while I had felt it was now or never for me and law school, maybe it is “never” and that’s ok.