Happy New Year

…Another year over, a new one just begun.

It’s quiet in the house now. The hubby and the kid have both gone to bed already. Being the night-owl in the family, I’ll be the only one to stay awake until the stroke of midnight. It seemed right to post something, as the last 20 minutes of 2004 or so run out.

I can’t really do an overview of this year. There’s just been too much, much of which I’ve written and ranted about on this blog. (Which, by the way, Scott named “Blog of the Year” on his review of 2004. Thanks, Scott. I’m honored and humbled.) I’ll leave it to other people to catalog the highlights (and lowlights) of the outgoing year. For some reason, today, my outlook has been more personal.

I guess it’s because I spent the day with the hubby and the kid. I can’t help remembering last New Year’s Eve. We spent the night at home. (Our days of going to fabulous New Year’s Eve parties are, at least temporarily, over.) Paker was just over a year old. And teething. That night he had four teeth just breaking through. Teething, for those who don’t know, is pretty painful for kids. Parker was no exception. He woke up several times that night, and refused to sleep unless one of us was holding him. We slept in shifts that night, and we were all a little worse for wear the next day.

Now, a year later, I marvel at how much Parker has changed. Of course, he’s gotten bigger, but his personality is more readily discernible these days. The verdict? He’s just a great kid. He likes to roll around on the floor and play with the hubby and me. His new favorite game is to “tickle” us when we’re down on the floor. It doesn’t really tickle, but it’s fun to pretend anyway and tickle him back. Plus, it makes him happy. He’s happy most of the time, and for that I’m grateful. He’s incredibly verbal. The hubby’s mom thinks it’s because we talk to him and sing to him, and that may very well be. Probably the most amazing thing I’ve noticed lately is that he can recognize and respond to emotions in others. It comes through when we’re reading one of his books or watching a video with him. He sees a frown on a character’s face and notes, “Thomas sad.” But more than that, he’s developing empathy. He clearly doesn’t like to see others, even characters in a book or a video, being sad. Noting the frown on Thomas the Train’s face he says, “No, Thomas.”

I think the process of watching my son growing into his own person has been the highlight of my year this year. In fact, I think it’s watching that process that helps restore a little bit of hope for the future in me. And maybe even a tiny bit of faith that things will be better down the line.

The biggest change this year, that’s not family-realted, is the new job. It’s not really new, since I started it back at the end of July. I can definitely say that I like and enjoy my job, and the people I work with. If anyone had told me at the beginning of 2004 that I’d be doing what I’m doing now, and working with the people I’m working with, I wouldn’t have believed them. But it all came to pass.

And it started with this blog. So I’d like to close out the year by saying thanks to all the people who have read and commented on this blog since it started. Opening up a door on my life online brought me in touch with a lot of really great people who helped shape this blog and enrich my own experience, and I’m grateful for that too.

I look back on the year, at my family and the changes that have happened in my life, and I can definitely things have gotten better. Things in the world aren’t the way I’d like them to be. But things in my heart and in my home are more than good. And sometimes that has to be enough, at least for the moment.

It’s midnight now. Good night. Happy new year.