Aaron asked: “Being both black and gay, where both black is/black aint and gay is/gay aint, how do you respond to the linking of two groups struggles, especially when members and leaders of one group doesn’t want the association?”
An interesting question. I think you’re asking about the comparison bewteen the civil rights movement and the moment for gay & lesbian equality. That’s a good one, and a hard one. Politically speaking, the urge to compare the two can be nearly irresitible . But at the same time it’s one that should be made very delicatley, if at all.
In a lot of ways, I think it’s almost better if it isn’t made, even if the similarities are obvious, because from what I can see homosexuality is still a hot button issue in African American communities, as we’ve seen from the success of the white right wing in riling African Americans up over the issue of same sex marriage. Besides, getting into the civil rights movement means getting into religion, because the civil rights movement was steeped in it. Getting into religion, when it comes to same sex marriage, muddies the water, I think. It’s better to talk about it in terms of equality and discrimination, without making that comparison.
One a more personal note, I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve stopped trying to span the chasm between the two communities; black and gay, that is. I’ve had my share of disappointments with both. However, I find that I always feel more stung by the homophobia I’ve encountered from some African Americans than from other people. I don’t know why, I guess it’s just a personal thing. As a result I’ve withdrawn from anything that might be called an African American community. I have a community of friends I who are black gay men that I keep up with via email, and I belong to a listserve for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people of color. And that’s pretty much it.
Thanks for taking the question and your thoughtful response.