SUV Drivers Deflated

Say what you will about the French. Sometimes I gotta admire their style. I came across this a day or so ago, and I know I’m probably bad for finding it amusing, but I’d love to see the faces of some of the SUV drivers confronting scenes like this.

If the French marauders known as The Deflated waged their brand of urban subversion in Southern California, the mecca of the sport utility vehicle, by now they would probably have been jailed, beaten, shot or at least sued.

But five weeks after the clandestine crew of environmentalists launched a low-intensity war on SUVs in Paris, there are no casualties to report. Except, of course, for dozens of deflated gas-guzzling vehicles, said Sous-Adjudant Marrant (Sub-Warrant Officer Joker), the mysterious, masked leader of Les Dégonflés.

Under cover of night, Marrant’s troops target Jeep Cherokees, Porsche Cayennes and other four-wheel-drive vehicles parked on the tree-lined avenues and cobblestoned lanes of wealthy neighborhoods. The eco-guerrillas deflate tires without damaging them, smear doors with mud and paste handbills on windshields proclaiming that the vehicles are dangerous, polluting behemoths that do not belong in the city.

“We use the mud to say that if the owners will not take the four-wheel-drives to the countryside, we will bring the countryside to the four-wheel-drives,” said Marrant, 28, who uses an alias because angry drivers deluge his website, with e-mails threatening mayhem and questioning his manhood.

C’mon. Ya gotta admit that’s a little funny. And it’s better than just setting them on fire.

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About Terrance

Black. Gay. Father. Buddhist. Vegetarian. Liberal.
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3 Responses to SUV Drivers Deflated

  1. Jim Burroway says:

    This is just fundamentalism of a different stripe.

  2. Setting them on fire? Are you mad? Setting an SUV on fire releases more toxic chemicals into the air than driving the damn thing.

    No really, you know what would be great? An environmental group that covertly installs solar panels and hybrid technology to parked Hummers.

  3. Nio says:

    this is *awesome* I want to be one.

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