Maybe I’m taking things way too seriously. Maybe I’m still seething over the news in the previous post. But last night even something like Bravo’s Queer Eye, is causing my blood pressure to rise and not in a good way. Don’t get me wrong. I love the guys from Queer Eye. In particular, Jai and Kyan can make me a little wobbly and short of breath.
But happening to catch a preview of what’s coming up on the show, I felt a little ill upon learning that they’re devoting something like an entire month to weddings, starting December 6th. And of course, given the show’s basic M.O., it’s the legal variety. You know? The kind that the guys on the show can’t have. Like I said, maybe I’m taking things way too seriously, but I’m failing to see the entertainment value in five queer guys moving heaven and earth to help straight people access rights and protections that the queer guys themselves can’t (except in Massachusetts, of course).
They may be the “Fab Five,” but they’re not fab enough to catch the bouquet, or put it to its intended use if they do. I don’t expect most of America to get it. Most of America stopped “getting” irony years ago, but at least one straight guy gets it.
Frankly, it’s disgusting the way we treat and stigmatize gays in this country. We treat gays as second-class citizens; we consign them to novelty status in popular culture (see “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”) but are unwilling to grant them a fundamental right…
Here, the great shipwreck that is American values crashes harshly on the rocks of irony and hypocrisy.
While Alan Eder’s sentiments are encouraging, and I definitely hope the number of heteros who share them soon outnumber those who don’t, I can’t help wondering just how helping straight folks down the aisle — a’la Queer Eye — gets us any closer to the altar of equality. In fact I’m inclined to think that Scott had the right idea a few weeks ago.
There’s something to be said about using the strength you have, and at the very least not being co-opted into forces that hurt you.
Why help put up streamers and blow up balloons for a party we’re not invited to in the first place? It might be entertaining to the folks who do get the full benefits of marriage, and to be sure they get a big bang out of it. But when I think about what happens to couples like Lauren Hester and Stacey Andree, watching get new wardrobes, free furniture and decorating, and wedding bands with the help of a group of gay guys doesn’t seem all that entertaining. In fact, it seems a kinda sickening.
Queer Eye, spare me the straight matrimony. And consider my invitation via television to your month of straight weddings returned “with regrets.”