I haven’t said much yet about the whole Cheney shooting incident. After all, there are plenty of people working ovetime to flog that one for all it’s worth. (And well they should.) I have my own questions. Was Cheney drinking? It’s well known the man has heart problems (possibly a lack of one). Was he medicated? I know some medicines come with labels warning against operating “heavy machinery,” but I don’t know if guns (whatever kind are used for quail hunting) fall under that warning. And then there’s the question of whether he was drunk and medicated. I mean, this is a guy who doesn’t let a few heart attacks stop him from having extra butter on his baked potato (to go with the steak, of course). I doubt he’s going to let a label on a medicine bottle tell him when he can and can’t drink. This is a man who does what he wants, damn the consequences, and gets away with it. And that may be the key to what’s being missed, or left unsaid, in this whole mess. Everbody’s talking about the wrong gun.
Let’s just say they don’t call him “Dick” for nothin’. Late last night, just before I was ready to shut down and go to bed, I came across a few things that give me pause.
Now, believe me, the last thing I want to have to think about is Dick’s dick, but a couple of items require attention. If I’d had Sirius satellite radio, I wouldn’t have missed this tidbit about Cheney’s alleged mistress.
Sirius radio’s Alex Bennett just broke a rumor that the delay in reporting the news that Cheney shot an old man in the heart was due to an effort to hide or spin Cheney’s female companion.
Pamela Willeford (shown right), ambassador to Switzerland and — yes — Liechtenstein, was part of the hunting excursion with Cheney and Whittington. And according to Willeford’s account, Cheney and the ambassador were side-by-side when the shooting of Whittington took place.
And RJ Eskow had further details in his post — in which he deliciously refers to “Cheney’s Chappaquiddick” (there’s that “d-word” again) — starting with this.
The real story is already emerging, if you’re willing to do a little digging. Cheney and Whittington went hunting with two women (not their wives), there was some drinking, and Whittington wound up shot.
… In addition to Cheney and Whittington, the hunting party included Katherine Armstrong (who was in the car at the time of the shooting: more on that later). After lots of evasive comments that only referred to a “third hunter,” we now know her identity: Pamela Willeford, the US Ambassador to Switzerland.
Think about it for a minute. Imagine for just a second that John Kerry had gone hunting. (Let alone a canned hunt.) Once tha laughter died down, right wingers would be all over the cover-up angle of the story. And when it was revealed that he was drinking and cavorting at this ranch with woman other than his wife? Aside from from muttered complaints of “Why couldn’t he have shot Teresa?”, they would shout long and lustily for a grand jury, impeachment, and maybe even a firing squad. The only thing missing would be the blue dress. It wouldn’t be so much about who was shot as about who shot what onto whom.
Given that people aren’t bothered by torture, wiretapping, no-bid contracts for Haliburton, or WMDs that weren’t there, maybe, just maybe they can once again be roused to indignation once again over the question of where a powerful man puts his penis. Little else seems to matter, but maybe that still does. Thus the picture above. It bubbled up in my memory, having first seen it via Wonkette during the 2004 election, when I read the reports linked above. I though it’s appropriate, even though Jesus’ General points out that Cheney may not be incredibly well hung, but just incontenent; in that case, he’s still a bad shot, but at least he has a safety lock on.
The point is, it may not be just about who got a face full of birdshot. It may also be about where Cheney was pointing that thing, and who got “sprayed” as a result. It may be that there was a whole lot of shootin’ going on at the ranch. In more ways than one.